Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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