No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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