Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
