i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize