You smell like stripper and shame
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
