i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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