I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
