Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
