Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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