Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
