We're like a lot better than the average bears
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize