names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
