She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
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