She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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