elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Randomize
