at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
