i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
