how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Houston, we have a blender
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
