I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She's the barista slut.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
