He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
