i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
only you would photoshop your dick
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
