is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
