just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
