heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
