You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I don't deserve a penis
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
wow bdsm is so cute
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