Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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