hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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