Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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