Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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