They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
