If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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