My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
