GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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