I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
