I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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