New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
