the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
