Got a toothbrush?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize