seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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