We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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