Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
