look no pants
I just cut my nipple shaving
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
