so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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