but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
People in love make me want to vomit
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
