did you get engaged???
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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