New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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