Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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