there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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