Apparently you make a good broom.
you win again, gameday.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
