Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
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