Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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