Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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