I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
