On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
