Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
