dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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