is your mom at the bar?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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