Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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